Keep Going Bro

What it is, why it matters, and how to start

What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the process of exploring the hidden parts of yourself—the parts you’ve been taught to suppress, deny, or avoid.

This concept comes from Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, who described the “shadow” as the unconscious side of our personality. It’s everything we don’t want to admit about ourselves—our anger, shame, insecurity, fear, jealousy, even vulnerability.

For men, the shadow often forms around the traits society says we *shouldn’t* have.

• “Be strong.”
• “Don’t cry.”
• “Man up.”

These messages don’t just affect us—they shape us. Over time, we learn to push down anything that doesn’t fit the mold of what a “real man” is supposed to be. But pushing those feelings down doesn’t get rid of them. It just hides them.

And that’s where shadow work begins.

Why Shadow Work Matters for Men

Most men are taught to solve problems by working harder, being tougher, or pushing through. But if you’re constantly feeling stuck, angry, disconnected, or numb—more effort isn’t the answer.

You don’t need to just try harder.

You need to look inward.

Shadow work helps men:

• Understand emotional triggers instead of reacting without thinking
• Heal old wounds from childhood, relationships, or trauma
• Break toxic patterns that repeat in relationships or life
• Reclaim wholeness by integrating emotions instead of running from them

Ignoring your shadow doesn’t make it disappear. It controls you from the background. But when you bring it into the light, you start to live from a place of truth—not fear.

As Jung said:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

What Shadow Work Looks Like

It’s not as mysterious as it sounds. Shadow work can be practiced in everyday life. It’s simply the habit of getting honest with yourself, especially when things get uncomfortable.

Here are a few ways to get started:

1. Journaling

Ask yourself questions like:

• What triggers me—and why?
• What traits in other people annoy me? Do I have those traits too?
• What did I learn growing up about emotions like anger, sadness, or fear?

Be honest. Don’t edit yourself. Let the truth come out. It would be even better to carry a journal and pen with you, so you can mind dump right away. I also prefer to write at the end “now what am I going to do about it?” Then list a few tips to myself what to do for next time.

2. Mindful Reflection

When you react strongly to a situation (especially with anger or defensiveness), pause. Ask yourself:

• What am I really feeling?
• Is this feeling familiar from my past?

Often, our biggest reactions come from old wounds—not the current moment.

3. Inner Child Work

Think about moments in your childhood where you were told to “man up” or “be tough.”

What did you need in those moments? Love? Safety? Validation?

Shadow work often begins with re-parenting the parts of you that were ignored or shamed.

4. Therapy or Men’s Groups

You don’t have to do this alone. Working with a therapist or sitting in a trusted men’s group gives you space to express what you’ve always kept inside—without judgment. I am lucky enough to have found a good therapist, who listened when I wasn’t well, listen when I was even giving some steps that I wanted to do to “get over” what I’m going through, and encouraged my proactive state of healing from this by giving additional ideas, and website links to other sources to help me out.

This Is Real Strength

Shadow work isn’t weakness.

It’s not being soft.

It’s not “overthinking.”

It’s emotional discipline. It’s the courage to sit in discomfort.

And it’s the path toward becoming a whole man—not just a hardened one.

If you’re tired of performing a version of yourself that doesn’t feel real…

If you’re done pushing things down just to keep up the appearance of control…

Then maybe it’s time to stop running from the parts of yourself that hurt.

Because healing doesn’t happen by hiding.

It happens when you’re ready to face the shadow—and grow through it.

Keep Going, Bro. You’ve got this.

Sources and Resources

• Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow: Jung, C. G. Psychological Aspects of the Persona. In Two Essays on Analytical Psychology (1953).
• Scott Jeffrey – “What Is Shadow Work?”
• Verywell Mind – “What is Shadow Work, Exactly?”
• Healthline – “A Guide to Shadow Work.”
• “The Shadow Effect” by Debbie Ford, Marianne Williamson, and Deepak Chopra