At 52, I’m a full-grown adult who’s worked full-time and volunteered for 20 years while raising a family. Like many men, I’ve spent a lot of time waiting for something to happen—the next milestone, the next vacation, the next activity to organize, or the next phone call because the toilet overflowed. Maybe even the next version of myself that finally “has it all together.”
And maybe that’s fine—we all need something to look forward to. But sometimes, I think we forget that joy isn’t hidden in the future. It’s actually right here, just… quiet.
For many years, I was often living ahead of myself, always thinking about what’s next, what needs to be fixed, finished, or figured out. Even on good days, my mind would drift, planning the next thing before the current one was even done.
Very recently, I started sitting outside with my coffee. I didn’t plan to do anything special; I just wanted a few minutes to breathe before going to work. The sky was still soft, the birds were starting up, and nothing extraordinary happened. But I remember feeling genuinely calm for the first time in ages!
That moment wasn’t productive or moving me closer to a goal. It just reminded me that peace doesn’t arrive with achievement; it arrives with awareness.
I think we mistake anticipation for purpose. We think if we stop striving, we’ll lose our edge. But joy doesn’t dull you; it steadies you.
When you stop chasing the next thing, you start noticing small things—the warmth of your mug, the sound of your own footsteps, a conversation that doesn’t need to go anywhere.
It’s almost funny—we talk so much about being present, but rarely allow ourselves to actually stay there. The mind keeps tugging at the next thing, and that’s okay. The point isn’t to be perfect at presence; the point is to remember to return.
Anxiety lives in the future, and regret lives in the past. But joy? Joy is stubbornly simple. It lives here—in the present.
Maybe it’s not about finding joy; it’s about letting it find us when we finally slow down. Perhaps that’s enough for today.
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